If this is the only part of the review that you read: don’t see “Mission: Impossible III.”
“M:I-3” is director J.J. Abrams’ first major motion picture gig. Abrams is also director of hit TV shows “Lost” and “Alias.”
Unfortunately, Abrams couldn’t translate his success in TV land to the big screen.
For those of you who didn’t know, Scientology superstar Tom Cruise is secret agent Ethan Hunt in the Mission: Impossible series.
He works for a secret organization known as IMF, the Impossible Mission Force.
But if you’ve already seen the first two installments, then you’ve basically seen part three. Cruise, along with an elite squad of agents, is going to have to steal something from someone and possibly save the world in the meantime.
“M:I-3” doesn’t do anything new; the acting is generic, the explosions are generic and the gunfights are generic.
The plot twists are as predictable as it is that Tom Cruise never gets shot. And missiles that knock Cruise into cars? Not a problem.
It’s hard to separate Tom Cruise from his character in the film.
Maybe it’s because he’s been in the spotlight so much with his fiancé Katie Holmes recently or because he’s been so vocal about the Church of Scientology, but it’s hard to imagine that Tom Cruise is ever anyone other than Tom Cruise.
His supporting cast adds some variety, but not enough to make this film worth watching.
Newcomers Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Maggie Q team up with Ving Rhames (who was also in “M:I-2”) to form Cruise’s back up squad.
Philip Seymour Hoffman was a great choice for the villain, but played the typical crazy guy hell-bent on destroying the world. His acting was superb but it couldn’t carry the film.
If you don’t want to know how this movie ends, stop reading here. But, let’s face it. This is an American action movie starring Tom Cruise.
You know he’s going to kill a bunch of dudes, save the world and get the girl in the end.
There may be light at the end of the tunnel for Cruise-haters, but you’ll find no plot spoilers here.
Despite the big budget ($150 million) and celebrities involved, “M:I-3” doesn’t complete its mission of being a good movie.
Better luck next time, Tom, but it seems Xenu got the best of your pitiful man-body.
Eric Iberri can be reached at email@example.com.