I’m not your puppet

Campus Times
May 14, 2004

by Melissa Betsy Lau
Editorial Director

“Melissa, you’re a bitch,” said one of my roommates last night.

And I enjoy being one, so here I go.

I hate when everyone tells me how to live my life or how I am supposed to feel about certain topics. My emotions are valid and here is how I really feel.

Just because I listen before I open my mouth to speak does not make me apathetic.

My quietness does not imply lack of intelligence or lack of opinion, yet some people in my life assume that it does.

Sometimes this involves the same people who contradict themselves by claiming that they stand for one thing, but then carry out actions that indicate otherwise.

These are the same people who tell me that I would be much happier if I changed my entire life, when they are not even brave enough to change their own unhappy one.

Or the people who brag about how noble they are that they are still your friend, or that they chose you out of the crowd or that you are lucky to be in their presence.

Sure, I respect those with strong opinions, although I may not agree with them. However, when their actions do not match their convictions, I cannot take them seriously.

Everyone is guilty of contradicting themselves at some point in their life, and I admit that I am just as guilty.

However, standing up for something requires backing it up the entire way, not half.

If you claim to be a feminist, be a feminist. Complaining about the use of a “sexist” term and then using it later in everyday dialogue is contradictory to the purpose.

And to the others who think that they are too good, I can live without the arrogance. If you really want to go down that road, then let’s take a closer look. Maybe you should be lucky that I listen to your nonsense.

I appreciate those looking out for me, those who care. I know there are a lot of people who want to protect me. And although I refuse to admit numerous things to myself, I will admit that I need those people in my life. I appreciate them for their support, but I do not appreciate them dictating what I should do with my life.

I cannot believe when people tell me what they think I need in my life. “Melissa, why don’t you do this?”, “Melissa, why don’t you do that?” Hey, why don’t you shut up; you are hurting my ears.

I do not need you hand fed to me, I’m not a toddler. Let me discover what my likes and dislikes are, let me decide what I need and for God sakes let me be me.

People cannot conceive what I am capable of or what ideas are cooking up behind these semi-Asian eyes. They have no idea what I am thinking about their pointless opinions about sexist comments, claim to nobility or pathetic words that feed their ego.

You cannot configure me into whatever you want; I am not Lambchop nor am I a lump of clay.

People need to stop focusing on what they want to change about others and worry about their own flaws.

Or maybe people are just that perfect that they don’t need it. Before trying to improve someone else, work on yourself first.

Melissa Betsy Lau, a senior journalism major, is editorial director and copy chief of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at lachicanachinita@yahoo.com.