Lozano helps find 'Real Love'

Posted Oct. 27, 2006
Sergio Sandoval

Young and old alike gathered at the Presidents Dining Room on Oct. 19 to hear licensed marriage and family therapist Vondie Lozano on the topic, “Finding Real Love: Trick or Treat.” Amid other things, Lozano cited topics to avoid on a first date.


Finding that special someone was made easier for people from college age to middle-age when Vondie Lozano, a licensed marriage and family therapist and part-time instructor at ULV, held a lecture titled “Finding Real Love: Trick or Treat,” on Oct. 19.

The brightly lit President’s Dining Room was full of about five men and 45 women filling the seats of the round tables.

Each attendee wore a colorful nametag.

Water and tea were served.

Lozano talked about everything from first dates to time alone from that special someone.

“I liked that the topics were relevant to real life situations,” said Denise Valencia, a University of La Verne graduate working toward her master’s in education. “The conversations were candid and they were about everything that has to do with relationships.”

Lozano’s first topic of the night was what to talk about and what not to talk about on a first date.

One of Lozano’s former students enjoyed the first date topic.

“The first date topic was the most memorable to me,” said Jessica Briggs, a ULV graduate student working towards her master’s in education. “I liked the fact that she gave good first date guidelines that I have never really thought through.

Lozano recommended staying away from talking about politics, money and religion.

“The purpose of a first date is basically to get to know them, get out of the house, and answer the question ‘do I want to date them again?’” Lozano said.

She told audience members to remember that first dates are like going on a job interview, and definitely don’t talk about the ex because they don’t want to hear about it.

Lozano kept the audience entertained with of her funny comments, audience interaction and the way she moved her hands to “talk.”

“I didn’t let my boyfriend come tonight,” Lozano said. “And he even said he would wear a name tag that said exhibit A.”

The next topic of the night was chemistry with three exclamation points.

Lozano explained that you can have passion if you don’t have chemistry.

In a healthy relationship passion emerges as you get to know the person.

“Sometimes clients want to say I love this part of them but I don’t like this part,” Lozano said. “We have to remember they’re a whole person and that’s what you get.”

The next topic was red flag warnings about dating.

If the person is lying to you, being too mean to those you care for and/or abusing drugs that is a red flag warning about a person.

For Lozano having too many drinks on the first date is enough to warrant not getting a second date.

Lozano did not find it hard to come up with the name “Trick or Treat” for her lecture.

“When I was writing it I was thinking of a title that would go with Halloween,” Lozano said. “I wanted to lecture to people who struggle with relationships and feel like they always get the trick instead of the treat.”

At the end of the talk, Lozano asked everyone to fill out a comment sheet so they could participate in a raffle.

The winner of the raffle received a $20 gift card to Starbucks.

Lozano said it is hard to find a good person to be in a relationship with.

Women, more than men, don’t have trouble staying in relationships once they are with a person but they have trouble leaving the person.

Lozano enjoys working with young women who sometimes feel lonely and want to find real love.

“It’s inspiring because the people I work with are usually bright young women who come from difficult families and amazing women who need help with relationships,” Lozano said.

“Some issues they go through are issues that I worked through at a young age. I want to share not only my professional training but also the issues hard to work through,” she added.

A free copy of Lozano’s newsletter on “Finding Real Love” is available at www.counselingforyoungwomen.typepad.com.

For more information call Lozano at (626) 215-2527.

Telon Weathington can be reached at tweathington@ulv.edu.

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