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When Fate is at its cruelest

Posted April 7,2006

Angie Gangi
News Editor

Some things in life just don’t make sense. In my last column, I wrote to my best friend who lost her mom and grandma three months ago.

She lost her mom on Christmas day in a car accident. Now her Christmas memories will always have a shadow over them. Her grandma was also in the car and she died days later.

We all expect to lose our grandparents at some point, but not like this. I didn’t understand how such tragic things could happen to her and her family, but I knew that after so much heartache good things had to be on the way.

Now, exactly 100 days after her mom died, her dad passed away.
I don’t understand. How can anyone understand? She is a good person and she doesn’t deserve this. No one deserves this. Too much has been taken from her already.

This is like the storyline of a poorly written movie that no one believes would really happen.

I wish there was some way I could change the channel and laugh with her about how much this movie would suck if it were real. But it is real, and it does suck.

She has lost three family members in 100 days and there’s nothing I can do to change that.

I have never lost anyone I was really close to. I don’t know what it is like to have a relationship end so abruptly. The last words you ever say to that person really are the last.

You can’t go back and tell them the things you never said or apologize for the things you did. That’s it; there is no more time.

My friend has been so strong. Even after her mom and grandma died, life seemed to slowly be getting back to normal. We had planned to celebrate her birthday in Las Vegas and have a good time.

Three days before we were going to leave, she got the call that her dad had died. So instead of celebrating, she will be traveling to a funeral on the east coast to shed more tears. I guess plans change - just like life.
As I sit here, I wonder why these awful things keep happening to my friend. I question the meaning of life and the lessons we are supposed to gain from such sadness.

I remember something the pastor said at her mom and grandma’s funeral. He said that while we grieve, we must think of the reason we grieve. We may not understand why the people we love are gone, but we have to remember the gift of love we had.

I know from my cancer experience, I learned to appreciate the moments I get to spend with my family and friends. I am still learning that lesson everyday. My mom is my biggest supporter and I realize how lucky I am to have her.

I am so thankful that I am still here and I get to raise my beautiful daughter. Each day I get to see her grow is a gift.

Life really is so fragile and as sappy as it seems, we should all live like it’s the last day we have. You never know, it really could be.

I got my friend the book “The Five People You Meet in Heaven.” I thought it might help her in some way, especially when I read a quote on the front sleeve. It said, “All endings are beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time…”

Well I say, enough already. My friend deserves her beginning.

Angie Gangi, a senior broadcast journalism major, is news editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at agangi@ulv.edu.