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Domestic abuse is not OK

Posted March 13, 2009

For a woman who sings a lot about not taking it no more and dealing with men, Rihanna let Chris Brown do a lot more than her songs allow you to think she would.

Everyday there is a new finding about the Chris Brown and Rihanna case. Earlier this week, it was found that a text message from Brown’s manager that angered Rihanna. His manager was being suggestive and was coming on to him. Rihanna saw this and became mad. That is when, he hit back.

After he beat her, she called the police. Soon after, it was reported that they were back together.

Brown has lost some endorsements like Wrigley’s gum, but was able to keep his name on the ballot for the Nickelodeon’s Kids Choice Awards. Brown recently removed his name from the nominee’s list.

Domestic violence is not an uncommon issue. It is just a well-hidden one. There are statistics about how many women are in a domestically violent situation. For every woman who is listed in that statistic, there are probably five more women who are not. Most people do not like to tell others that they have been beaten or they like to pretend that it did not happen.

The automatic reaction to the situation was angry women. They were angry at Brown for hitting and Rihanna for staying. They think that this could never happen to them and if it did, that they would leave. It is easier said than done.

Some woman hold true to their word and never let a man beat them. If he does hit once, she leaves. Other women talk and talk until they end up in that situation and their perspective changes because they are in “love.” Love does not hit. Love is kind, patient and it does not hurt.

We must also remember that abuse is not only physical, it is also verbal. It is verbal abuse if he puts you down constantly, makes you feel bad on a daily basis, calls you names that hurt or is just flat out mean.

Although this is an unfortunate incident, I am glad that it happened to such a prominent figure, especially one that relates to the young and old. This can be used as a learning tool for others. No one ever walks into a relationship thinking that their significant other is going to abuse them. Everyone was shocked when squeaky clean Chris Brown was found to be aggressive and have anger issues. Women need to be aware that these things happen.

No one enters a relationship thinking they will be abused. Every woman needs to be aware of what to do if they end up in an abusive relationship. She should also look for signs that her mate could be abusive. Allegedly Brown had anger issues.

I come from a line of abused women. They were abused by their husbands either physically, verbally or emotionally. Only two of them were smart enough to leave. Now, they say they would never let that happen again. They say that.

I just hope that my cousins and I can break this cycle. I always say, I will never let a man hit me, but “love” can be blinding at times.

As some may know, March is Women’s History Month. A lot of women worked hard to give us the equality we have today and the self-esteem we can hold in ourselves. Do not let a man take that away from us. Be strong.

Sher Porter, a junior journalism major, is LV Life editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at sherrice.porter@laverne.edu.