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I don't want to leave school yet
Posted May 8, 2009
The end of the semester is coming closer to an end. The closer it gets, the more I realize that I will be a senior next year.
It is scary.
For one, most of my friends that are seniors now are freaking out.
They do not know where they are going to live, what they are going to do and how they are going to survive after college life is over.
They are also stressing way too much about projects and finals.
Their worrying scares me. What am I going to do next year?
The economy will still probably not be in a good state.
Newspapers will probably not start to rise again, at least not for a long time.
I do not know what is going to happen.
When I was in high school, I had my life planned out.
I was going to spend four years in college, study abroad in Australia and graduate with a job and apartment waiting for me once I walked across the graduation stage.
I knew everything would all line up. Now, I come to my junior year and realize that those plans did not and will not happen.
It is time for plan B.
What is plan B? I have no idea. I probably will not even know the plan when I graduate. I feel so lost and I am not even lost yet.
I suppose I should figure that out before I start my senior year.
One advantage I already have is that I have started thinking about my senior project.
I am not completely sure about what I am doing, but I am thinking about it.
Plus, I will have a partner so we can keep each other in check.
I have an internship this summer, which I think is starting kind of late because I will have to do an internship in fall too.
I have no idea what I will be doing in the fall.
I do not know if I will have a car to get there.
Along with all that, I have to situate my life.
I have to find a job, a place to live, someone to live with, a job in my field for when I graduate or at least a paid internship and find out if my profession will survive the tough times.
All of that is too stressful to think about right now.
I have my own junior year issues to deal with first.
I have to finish finals, I have to end the year with events with the clubs and organizations I am in, and I just need to get my cards in order before I can leave this year behind.
When I throw thinking about next year on top of my stress for this year, it kills me.
I guess as humans we want to control life. We feel like this is the life we are living and therefore, we should be able to be in charge of the events that happen in our lives.
The funny part of this whole life experience is that we are not in charge, we just think we are.
I suppose in the end, everything will eventually fall into place. My life will plan itself out.
I just need the seniors to stop freaking out, so I can stop prematurely freaking out.
Sher Porter, a junior journalism major, is LV Life editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.