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The Hereafter rock softly

The Ride of Your Life

Don't diss 'The Last Kiss'

LaMontagna lights the way with 'Till the Sun Turns Black'

Local game store boasts wide selection, customer care

Lachey loses what's left of him

Typical teen flick fails to 'Stick It'

Spanish cuisine adds spice to Pasadena

Microsoft, Sony, Nintendo continue console war

Thespians spin soft news for laughs

Family market place's popularity expected to increase

Child obesity super-sized to an epidemic

La Verne prepares for natural disasters at expo

Dating trends jump on the technological train

Yianni's offers original Greek cuisine

ULV sisterhood embraces new sorority

Seniors' handy work displayed at craft fair

Old Town shop keeps classics rolling

Pizzeria offers new twist on classic dish

La Verne's citrus history captured at Heritage Park

Local works displayed at art show

Labels and musicians not dying by digital music

Downtown La Verne parking taken by ULV students

Public smoking ordinance unrealistic for La Verne

College Connections exposes students to college campus

Sexual harassment report brings awareness

Sweethearts Dance brings community together

Housing bubble could pop
with increased interest rates

Students offer last minute
gift ideas

Staying alive: Folk music

Morning-after pill accessible
despite FDA delays

Life after college
on seniors' minds

Students on a budget reveal
holiday shopping tips

Arts Colony Latino exhibit
paints beauty of struggle

Faith's Comfort Food survives
with a homemade touch

Old Town shops not afraid
of Wal-Mart shadow

Pomona Public Library shows
literacy is no trivial matter

Prop. 73 revisits abortion laws
for minors

Depeche Mode returns
to explore love and purpose

Rival propositions 78 and 79 battle over medical benefits

Spirits return on
'El dia de los muertos'

Obesity weighs heavy in football

Cal Poly Pomona brings in the harvest

Students on forefront of AIDS activism

Grand Avenue Festival brings
diverse entertainment

Youth intervention agency expands local services

Candlelight Pavillion welcomes nostalgic musical 'Forever Plaid'

Anthony Caro exhibit makes Scripps first stop in U.S. tour

Jonathan Reed goes live

Fair lures job-seeking Leos

Concerts close to home

Students try to look good for summer months

Public reaction divided on sex education initiative

Grade inflation a concern among ULV faculty

Fears ease in wake of meningitis case

A money making hobby

Diesel fuel vehicles on the rise

Stem cell research exhibits
incredible potential

Drowsy driving common
among Americans

'My Space' captivates
quite an audience

Shari's Subs breaking through on D Street

Clarke waits for opportunity
in NHL

College students victims of credit cards

Gas prices continue to climb

Guitarists have no worries with the Fret House

Huerta remembers the late Cesar Chavez

Ultramarathons prove to be tough tests

Spring break right around the corner

Sports play huge roles in many lives

Measure S passes by narrow margin

Kendrick and Harden fill city council positions

El Saadawi speaks on women's rights

Democratic speakers discuss changes

Cross country remains a staple of Kenyan culture

Military recruiters target ULV

Measure S to maintain public services in La Verne


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Posted Oct. 2, 2006

Is school over yet? I mean, come on. What's with this thing? It's like one of those anti-drug commercials with the eggs in the frying pan. “This is your brain on drugs.”

Someone needs to make a similar commercial, but with the eggs scrambled and bloodied by ketchup. “This is your brain on school.”

And what happens after the undergraduate experience? More school! For me, at least. Two more years for a masters and then even more for a doctorate. It's too bad I didn't want to be a bad actor when I grew up; I'm sure I'd be a much better bad actor than Ashton Kutcher. I'd be rich!

Ashton Kutcher. You break my record. Now I break you, like I break your friend.

If you haven't seen Jean-Claude Van Damme's masterpiece “Bloodsport,” my soul cries for you. It's hard to believe that the only award “Bloodsport” was nominated for was a Razzie for Van Damme as worst new star. It wasn't even nominated for best picture. But “The Last Emperor” won that year, and that was a decent flick, so I can't be too mad. But Michael Douglas as best actor? Come on. And Bolo didn't get nominated as best supporting actor over Sean Connery? Well, that was nearly 20 years ago. Maybe the Academy got a hold of itself.

If the Academy wasn't awarding crappy movies 20 years ago, it sure is today. I'm still not over the fact that “Crash” won any Oscars, let alone best picture. “Crash” was probably the worst movie I ever sat through. And I live for horrible movies. It was beyond bad. Usually, I can laugh at bad movies and joke with them about being so bad. But “Crash”? It had me wanting to gouge my own eyeballs out and stab my eardrums. That may be unfair, but so is thinking that Arnold Schwarzenegger has never been in a good movie.

So, what about the governator? Where are his Oscars? “Predator,” “Commando,” “Conan the Barbarian,” “Conan the Destroyer,” “Terminator,” “Terminator 2,” and uh... “Total Recall,” were all Oscar-worthy. “T-2” did win a few Oscars for effects and sound, but Arnold's acting was superb. He played the most believable machine ever. His literal acting literally blew me away.

Literally is literally the most literally misused word, literally. According to Merriam-Webster, literally means in a literal or strict sense. I literally stole that definition from Merriam-Webster. The second definition for the word is in effect; virtually; very nearly. This means that the word is used as an intensifier in sentences.

If I say, “Don't take me literally,” that clearly means: “Don't believe what I say.”

But if I say, “That was literally the worst song I have ever heard,” the meaning isn't as clear. If you use the second sense of the word, as in, virtually or very nearly, that sentence means that the song was very nearly the worst I had ever heard.

But when you hear a sportscaster say that angels literally flew down from heaven, picked up Michael Jordan and carried him from the free-throw line to the basket, you know they aren't being serious.

So why the confusion?

I'll tell you why. Because people frequently use the word literally in sentences where its meaning is ambiguous.

“Lunch was so bad, I literally threw up right after.”

“My professor literally bit my head off when I started laughing during her lecture.”

My point? Stop using literally, literally.

If you thought literally was a cool word, try buffalo.

“Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.”

It means that buffalo (noun), the big furry animals, intimidate, or buffalo (verb), other buffalo who happen to be from Buffalo, N.Y.

The sentence can be extended to include more buffalo from Buffalo, N.Y., and other variations of the verb to buffalo. Thanks to Wikipedia for teaching me about the magic of buffalo.

Eric Iberi can be reached at eiberri@ulv.edu.